Positivity, Mindfulness & other 'must-haves' for crunchy moms - Part 1
Strategy and thoughts from Mt. Motherhood
Hello Friends,
This is part 1 of a 2-part post. Today, is on my musings on mindfulness and the health benefits of choosing a positive outlook - including techniques and supporting research. In Part 2, coming soon, we will dive into the following:
🌻Health benefits of baby-wearing
📒Encouraging and informative books for birth and the first year
🌞The science behind utilising time outdoors to supercharge your and baby’s health
🍏Postpartum nutrition tips
🌿Herbal medicine for perinatal wellness
💛A birth preparation course recommendation
📣Announcement: the upcoming Q+A and Book Club will include free subscribers! 🎉 Submit your questions in the comments section or in the chat for the Q+A by June 30th!
Pumpkin will celebrate his first birthday this week and I’m filled with nostalgia and thoughts on motherhood. As I flip through the pages of my journal from early June 2023, I notice quotes about love and overcoming adversity. At least, that’s what I thought I was getting into.
“The world is your oyster”
It’s written in magenta ink on the corner of a dog-eared page and I don’t know what prompted its landing there. Adapted from a line Shakespeare once wrote, it’s said to mean that everything is a boon in life. I suppose I like it because it always conjures a carousel of playful images: Me rolling around in shiny, slippery oyster nacre …and quite happy about it because, I’m the pearl!
… or am I?
Now, as a mother, the quote seems to take on slightly different imagery and meaning. Through the combination of adversity and mindfulness, life’s task right now seems to identify me more with the oyster. A humble and (likely) misunderstood creature who has the ability create something exquisite from… a literal irritation.
Far from the sea bed, I once summited Mount Adams. It was a gruelling 12 hour hike from which I was awarded both altitude sickness and (apparently) eternal bragging rights. People get excited about mountain climbing. It’s “cool”. When I share my story, listeners tend to place value and emphasis on the destination as though the literal highest point was the “peak” of the experience. Summiting was the goal, to be sure, but I can tell you with certainty that those who regularly tackle mountains are seeking more than the top.
We choose tasks, often prestigious or difficult ones, for the experience and the significance we assign to it.
Like choosing grains of sand to become pearls in the string of a meaningful life.
But what about the sand that we don’t choose? Does the oyster rejoice in the chance to make a pearl or does it bemoan its plight?
The meaning we assign to an experience, that is,
whether we can “produce a pearl”, seems largely subject to mindfulness.
“The higher the mountain, the steeper the climb, the better the view.”- Paul Newman1
Earlier this year, I wrote about agape and mothers forming the glue in community after being asked, “what does it feel like to be a mother? I’m still pondering on it just as I sometimes ponder what climbing mountains means to me. Both are wild experiences, full of adversity and meaning and rife with opportunity often disguised as challenge.
In comparison to mountaineering, motherhood is not “cool” or so it is often depicted. In in comparison to climbing Mt. Adams, conversations on Mt. Motherhood tend to highlight the valleys rather than the peaks, often taking the form of *interesting* remarks.
“There goes your career.”
“Enjoy sleep while you can!”
“Is he a good baby?”
“Does he sleep through the night?”
“Just wait until you have a toddler!”
Likely well-intentioned but essentially negative. Modern culture tends to look at pregnancy and parenting as less than desirable. At best we are fed cute or funny videos of children and overly-sensuous photos of pregnant celebrities… and, at worst a glorified depiction of a frightful creature who must smash the glass ceiling and nurture her children in only the most currently accepted ways while simultaneously excelling in all other areas of life.
To be fair, the negativity isn’t always coming from outsiders. Those “opportunities disguised as challenges; the sand grains not chosen” I mentioned - well, they JUST. KEEP. COMING. It’s understandable that we get buried, lost in the weeds, or sometimes just need a good laugh.
We also need balance.
Motherhood has been the most heart-expanding, awe-inspiring meaningFULL thing I’ve ever attempted and the pearls of wisdom, faith, and countless other life lessons also just. keep. coming. Most mothers would likely say the same, so then, why are many modern portraits of if lacking in balance and context?
Perhaps we would do well to shine a little more positivity on the depiction of motherhood?
… or, if we insist of comical or negative depictions, perhaps allow them a more appropriate placement: right before or after a soul-nourishingly, heart-explodingly positive one.
As it turns out, positivity is REALLY good for you. Improved immune function, boosts in mental health, resilience to stress, improved immune function, and better pregnancy outcomes just to name a few health benefits according to research (Babbar, S., et al., 2021) (Rasmussen, H. N., et al., 2009).
Not naturally inclined towards cheerfulness? Studies are showing that positive thinking patterns can be established and benefitted from at any age (Taherkhani, Z., et al., 2023) and the techniques aren’t as boring as one might think.
I’ve started to think of a rosey outlook as part of the oyster nacre… more nacre = more pearl. Here’s how to get it:
In psychology, “positive reframing” is a form of cognitive reappraisal in which one chooses to think more favorably on a negative or difficult situation; to see the beauty in the storm; find the lesson; decide that the cup is half full.
According to the Harvard Stress and Self-Development Lab, this doesn’t necessarily mean conceding to the *most* positive meaning:
“The first reappraisal of a situation likely won’t stick, and that’s okay. It’s important to try to think about situation flexibly in different ways until you land on an interpretation that feels right to you.” - Harvard Self-Development Lab
Let’s give it a try, using me as an example from just this morning:
“The kitchen is a disaster!”
→ We made wonderful memories yesterday; Pumpkin had a blast learning to help with cooking; We are blessed to prepare and enjoy delicious home-cooked meals
“Ugh, the baby wakes up SO many times at night!”
→ I’m blessed with a healthy baby and it’s an important part of his natural development that he should wake me and get his needs met.
Other techniques to encourage mindfulness and overcoming negative emotions include various journaling techniques. Additionally, Harvard recommends “Examining the Evidence” , simply checking your use of language for extremes, bias, or assumptions, and reviewing common negative thinking patterns:
And sometimes, a little shift in perspective is all it takes:
Perhaps the first “must-haves” for a health-conscious mother are mindfulness and positivity.
I attribute much of my good health (body and mind) during pregnancy and postpartum to mindfulness and positivity and also see them as a necessity for balancing out the give and take of motherhood.
While there remains a lack of understanding about the biological needs of babies (and mothers), it’s not “cool” to clean up vomit and change diapers, and mindfulness requires effort - I’m here to tell you the good news: it’s excellent material for pearl-making and SO worth it.
I wish you many blessings and pearls along your way!
If you liked this post, let me know ❤️
xx Chesica
References
Babbar, S., Oyarzabal, A. J., & Oyarzabal, E. A. (2021). Meditation and Mindfulness in Pregnancy and Postpartum: A Review of the Evidence. Clinical obstetrics and gynecology, 64(3), 661–682. https://doi.org/10.1097/GRF.0000000000000640
Rasmussen, H. N., Scheier, M. F., & Greenhouse, J. B. (2009). Optimism and physical health: a meta-analytic review. Annals of behavioral medicine : a publication of the Society of Behavioral Medicine, 37(3), 239–256. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12160-009-9111-x
Taherkhani, Z., Kaveh, M. H., Mani, A., Ghahremani, L., & Khademi, K. (2023). The effect of positive thinking on resilience and life satisfaction of older adults: a randomized controlled trial. Scientific reports, 13(1), 3478. https://doi.org/10.1038/s41598-023-30684-y
No idea who actually first said it this way but Paul Newman once said something similar.